


John & Lise

by aeryn_sun



Category: Cardinal (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Tooth Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24150802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeryn_sun/pseuds/aeryn_sun
Summary: I have not written in years and am completely new to AO3, but figured I’d post here as well if anyone is hungry for a little light at the end of that tunnel.This is now officially a post-S4 sap fest of these two idiots slowly, but surely figuring things out in teensy tiny babysteps of little scenes of where things go after Cardinal goes into that tunnel. Involving lots of making out out, making sweet sweet love and eventual talking about their feelings.
Relationships: John Cardinal/Lise Delorme
Comments: 28
Kudos: 55





	1. 4x05 - Hotel

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not an English native. Unbeated.

John followed her into her dark hotel room. She’d stopped by the chair, her back turned towards him, overlooking the bed and the warm lights in the distance. Until that very last moment, she wasn’t sure he would follow and felt her heart beat erratically. But she felt him behind her, the way she could feel his presence anywhere. He stood behind her, quietly, like her aware of every breath they took. He gently laid a hand on her shoulder, over her heavy winter parka and she closed her eyes at the mere ghost of contact and she turned her head, ever so slightly towards where had placed his fingers. 

He whispered ‘Lise’ quietly at which she finally turned, unable to make eye contact just yet, as she felt too many emotions from the day’s events course through her, felt a familiar twinge of warmth radiate deep from her belly as her breath caught when he gently touched her face, encouraging her to look at him. A desperate ‘I need you, John’ escaped her as she finally met his eyes, that had been searching hers and were met with an openness and vulnerability he had not been prepared for. 

She needed him - in her grief, in her life, in her bed. Caressing her face still, tracing her cheekbone as she was inhaling heavily, he drew her close, searching her eyes before finally kissing her. Her arms wound themselves inside his jacket and around his warm body automatically with the need to feel him growing more desperate and making a smile form on his lips. His hands moved down to her neck, slipping under her coat and swiftly working it off her shoulders. It fell to the floor with a woosh as he pulled her close, bringing her flush against him and deepening their kiss and it didn’t take long for his coat and suit jacket to follow. 

They kissed, slowly, gently, resting their foreheads together from time to time to catch their breaths, dumbfounded that this was actually, really happening. She stared at him, wide-eyed, scared and impatient and he smiled in return, running his hands down the perfect curvature of her waist, coming to rest solidly on her hips. She tugged at his tie, made swift work of his buttons and he helped shrug his shirt off. Her eyes caught on the scar on his right arm and she couldn’t help but trace it gingerly, closing her eyes briefly as the pain of having almost lost him so many times filled her and she needed to feel him, needed him closer. 

They stumbled towards the bed, stripping the remainder of their clothing until they were lying side by side on the bed. Touching each other, exploring, carefully, tenderly, dazed and bewildered. Legs tangled, she felt his warm belly against hers, pressed her aching breasts against his chest. She held tightly, never letting him go as she felt him inside of her, her body writhing with his, coiled tightly, emotions spilling out of her at the sheer intensity and she would have come from the emotional release alone. 

He fell asleep - like men do. Sprawled out, exhausted and satisfied from the emotional and physical revelations. She watched him fall asleep, too hot and heart still racing. Felt his heartbeat even where her hand rested on his chest.

*

They sat silently for a long time and he sensed her desperation and her overwhelming guilt and not having been able to save Ken McNider’s life. He sensed her uncertainty about where their future would lead and provided what comfort he could. When she started shivering slightly in his arms, he pulled her in closer and told her ‘We should get some sleep. It will be a long day tomorrow.’ They walked back inside, close, but not touching, but he pulled her back into him in the short elevator ride up. Without a moment’s hesitation and in silent understanding, he followed her back into their room, stripping down to his boxers and white shirt and settled down minutes later, with her tucked into his side. Pressing a kiss to her forehead he said quietly ‘We’ll figure it out, Lise.’ and it was all the reassurance she needed before exhaustion finally caught up with her and dreamless sleep soothed her frayed nerves.


	2. 4x06 - Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue to the finale.
> 
> Edited: tiny section at the beginning added in ☺️

She held onto him tightly, knowing he heard the sirens as well and she started to feel him drifting, momentarily distracted. But he tightened his hold, his fingers pressing into her back, feeling her warm breath against his neck. He bent down slightly, rubbing his stubble against her cheek in the process, feeling and hearing her sharp intake of breath and a choked sob. When he angled away from her, he saw that indeed, her eyes were welling up with tears.

‚Hey.‘ he said gently, moving his hand to her right cheek. She’d turned away slightly, not meeting his eyes anymore. He pulled off his glove and cupped her cheek again, warm skin to cold, wiping away a stray tear. ‚Hey.‘ he repeated, now his fingers tipping her chin upward. Her dark, stormy eyes finally met his calm, steady ones. ‚Hey.‘ he said, one more time, brows furrowing and before she could look down again, he bent down, hesitating a moment before gently pressing his lips to hers. Her reaction was agonizingly slow, a heartbeat, a breath, two passing, before she responded, a choked sob still on her lips. And he tried to tell her, with the gentlest of kisses, holding her reverently in his embrace, that whatever this was, it was not goodbye.

*****

It was late by the time he made it home that night. He never got used to a body, a life extinguished. His apartment was dark and empty, the same way he had left it. It felt cold. He took off his boots and stripped down his jacket without even turning on the lights. A sadness permeated him, the past days’ events catching up to him. He felt drained and lifeless and was heading straight for bed without as much as a shower. He took his phone out of his jacket, the light of the display coming on as he did. One missed call. He was exhausted, but a smile found its way across his lips as he dialed. She picked up almost instantly.

“Hey.” He said softly.

“Hey.” She replied. They were both silent for a moment.

“Did you get down alright?” He asked, as he settled onto his bed.

“Yeah. You? Just got in?” She asked, hesitantly.

“Yeah. Long day. Male body. Looks like foul play.”

He heard her taking a deep breath on the other side of the line. “What are you thinking?”

And he told her. As she started to sound sleepy when she interrupted for a thought or comment, he said “It’s getting late. I should let you sleep.” 

“Yeah.” And after a brief pause. “Talk to you tomorrow?”

“I’d like that.”

“I miss you already.”

“Me too. It was good to hear your voice.”

“Good night, John.”

“Good night, Lise.”


	3. Waiting for that call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, I can’t stop. And apparently, I needed to dive into all the reasons why these two idiots were having sad hugs instead of hot monkey sex. Surely that first time couldn't have been *that* bad??? Turned out kind of darker than I meant - Cardinal’s thoughts and feelings as he's waiting for Lise to call that second day.

Cardinal was having dinner. Well, that might have been overstating things a little. He had poured cereal into a bowl and realized he’d run out of milk. He wondered if it was too early to call. He was thinking about whether he should try a video call, looking at himself in the mirror and deciding that a normal phone call would have to do – or maybe he should grab a shower and clean up? He felt a little silly for feeling so insecure (she’d seen him naked, after all), but somehow he didn’t feel quite ready for that level of intimacy (knowing full well she could read him just by the sound of his voice). 

She felt so familiar, but these, their new circumstances had made her feel like an unknown entity and he felt like he was clumsily searching in the dark. It had been decades since the last time he'd felt like this, like a clueless schoolboy. It was so easy talking to her about work, as their minds were so in sync, following each other’s thought process, bringing in their own perspectives and ideas – so why was it so hard to talk about themselves, about what they were thinking, about what they wanted? 

He barely knew himself what he wanted. She was gorgeous, of course he was attracted to her. The thought of her smell, the way she’d felt as he’d held on to her hips. When it came to this – he didn’t trust his instincts, second-guessing if he was reading her intentions right. When she’d asked him into her apartment, he’d barely dared to believe and had thought they would end up talking about her job on her couch, despite the way she’d looked at him. The second time – he’d still been afraid she hadn’t meant it. But the physical had been incredible, intoxicating. Had she felt the same?

Most of all though, he was afraid – he’d been afraid from that first moment when she’d told him about the job. She was an extraordinary detective, her instincts infallible, her deductive logic impeccable. He shouldn’t stand in the way of what would undoubtedly be an incredible career move for her. He didn’t want to be selfish and ask her to stay, stay in Algonquin Bay where she wouldn’t go anywhere, would investigate burglaries and snowmobile thefts and limited opportunities to move up in rank.

He was afraid of losing her easy friendship, afraid of losing her as his loyal and trusted partner. He wondered, worried what had made her look at the job in Toronto in the first place – had she been missing something? Wasn’t he enough? He was worried about what she might want, might expect and if he could be that person. She was so much younger than him, had so much life ahead of her – what if she suddenly realized she did want that life, marriage, a kid. Didn’t she deserve that? Someone who’d be around longer, someone she wouldn’t have to take care of when he got old? What did she even want with an old bugger like him? What if she realized that she needed more and left him for someone younger, someone without his baggage? 

And was he even ready? He absentmindedly felt the ring on his left index finger, turning it, wondering if it would even come off. He remembered the good times they’d had in Algonquin Bay. The fond memories. It had been better with her here, better after they’d left Toronto and it pained him to think of leaving the comfort, the woods, the lake behind again for a fast paced city. And what would he do down there anyway? He liked his fishing, pottering around the house, building a cabin. He felt uncomfortable in his apartment, wishing for the warmth of his house. He felt paralyzed again, but fear gripped him deep in his gut that he would lose her, if he didn’t try. 

The ringing on his laptop broke him out of his reverie. Was it …?

“Dad?!”

“Kel, hey! I was going to call you.”

“Oh yeah, why? What are you up to?” 

“Uh, I’m actually coming down. New case. I’m taking an early flight down tomorrow.”

“Oh wow, OK. Do you have time to hang out? Grab coffee?” 

“Uh yeah, I guess. Maybe we could go to dinner?”

“Uhm, OK. I actually kind of made plans with Lise tomorrow. She wanted to invite me to that Italian place. Maybe we could go all three.”

His daughter, the matchmaker, meddling in his life again.

“Dad? You still there?”

“Yeah. That’s a nice idea. Uh. I’ll ... I'll talk to her.”


	4. Making plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lise's turn. And time for some laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on tumblr :-)

Lise had touched up her make-up when she got home. It had been so long since she felt anything like that. She fixed herself dinner, a leafy green salad with roasted pine nuts and some warm goat cheese and sliced figs on top. Absentmindedly, she went through her e-mails while she ate. She wondered if he might be home already, what direction his case had taken and decided to wait a little longer. She stared at the packed up boxes, but decided to leave them as they were. At least she'd managed to get some of the kitchen sorted the day before and her bed. The rest could wait.

Somehow she didn't feel like unpacking at all. She'd started doubting her decision to leave Algonquin Bay, to leave ... him. When her old colleague in Toronto had mentioned the job the first time, it had all seemed so simple. Somehow she had not fully realized what it would mean for her and Cardinal. But she'd been certain of her feelings for him for some time and with Catherine gone, it had become more and more difficult to hide them and she'd found herself between a rock and a hard place. Thriving off of working with him, observing and sharing his thoughts, whether it was petty crime or a major case. But it also made her body hum, made her respond and that he seemed to be still so absorbed in the loss of his wife (understandably, she told herself, and she could not give a figure what time would have been appropriate) and she knew that as long as they were working together, nothing could happen anyway and at the same time, working so closely with him, made it impossible for her to move on. And there was the offer - something that wasn't just an extraordinary professional opportunity that would allow her to grow, which would have been much more difficult in such a small precinct ... and it seemed to be a reasonable way out of her personal dilemma. 

Somehow she hadn't thought he would react at all. Or maybe she had hoped, she'd gotten good at lying to herself about Cardinal, having worked with him for such a long time, sitting across from him daily and seeing his passion, his dedication, his loyalty and his undeniable attractiveness every day. And yet, it was so much more than that, the bond they shared. It ran deeper than she'd ever felt, than any of her casual relationships had been. They had all been conventional, all seemingly leading up that same path of the mundane. But with him, she'd felt a deep connection from the first moment, a kindred spirit, that was, like her, damaged in some way, flawed. They shared an intuition about human nature and it was easy to know what he was thinking when they were talking about cases, about what could have happened. But when it came to his feelings, she couldn't read him and she dared not open herself to him, afraid of destroying their friendship. She didn't trust her instincts, not with this. She'd needed for him to come to her, she'd needed for him to make the first step, to show that he felt something - and more importantly, that he was ready to move on.

It was part of why she couldn't make a move - his wife. He still wore his ring - she had been an unspoken wall between them. She'd been attracted to him, from the start. But she would never have allowed herself to do anything about her feelings, that wasn't who she was and Cardinal cheating would have changed her high opinion of him and would have turned her feelings into disgust. The problem was, that none of that had changed with her death. She felt the same guilt, the same hesitation. Somehow, it had only made it more difficult, as if there would never be an appropriate time. And her leaving - at first she'd thought he would not react to her news at all, thought he was fine with it. Until he started - coming over with takeout and giving her long looks. He was out of his depth, but so was she. She couldn't have said what had made her push. What had made her invite him inside, but there was something inside her that drove her, that made her relentless, that made her need to know. And it had been incredible, to finally feel him, to feel that passion and determination he displayed at work - focused entirely on her. He made love with that same quiet, serious and vulnerable passion. She'd never felt such a deep connection and it had made her emotional. He'd fallen asleep, as if he was carefree - and as soon as he had, her thoughts had started racing, wondering if maybe it was just sex for him, that it was just her leaving that pushed him. Josh's words still smarted, that he thought they were good at this. She didn't feel good. She'd failed and the pain and self-doubt seeped it. She craved nicotine, to calm her mind, so that maybe she would be able to find sleep. And he'd found her and without saying a word, had made it OK, because he understood.

She had hoped that perhaps with her going to Toronto, he would consider moving back, too. To be closer to his daughter. She'd hoped against hope, but he had not made any indication and she doubted once again, if perhaps he was not ready or maybe really could not love anyone, much less her, as much as his late wife. Maybe it had been just a goodbye fuck. He was a guy, after all. And the thought of going to see him, to go back to the place she left behind - he was afraid of what she'd find, if it was just - easy sex for him and she wasn't sure she could do Algonquin Bay Booty Calls. It was easier, somehow, to ask him to come see her, on his terms, without all the memories of Catherine on every street corner. The phone rang - breaking her out of her reverie.

“Hey.” He said.

“Hey.” 

“Is this a good time?” 

“Yeah. Yes. Of course.”

“I ... uhm ... I just got off skype with Kelly.”

“Yeah? I talked to her today, too. We made plans.”

“Yeah, about that... she, uhm, she asked me along.”

“You’re coming here?’

“Yeah, the new case. Needed pathology in Toronto.’ He paused, hesitating. “I didn’t know if you’d want to ... I said I’d wait for you to tell me when it was good. I didn’t know if you ... needed time ... or space to ...”

“Of course I want to see you, John. I didn’t want to push ... you’ll kind of have ... set the pace here. If you need time...”

He breathed a sigh of release. He’d tried to make sense of her words, of her asking him to come to Toronto. Her hesitancy ... “I don’t know, Lise. I ... I want to see you. .... time is good. It happened so fast, with you and ... everything”

“I’m here, John. A phone call, a car ride, a plane away. I’m not going anywhere. We have all the time in the world. We can take it slow.”

“So, dinner? With Kelly? She’ll ... ask questions.”

“So we tell her. That we’re taking it slow. That we need some time to ... figure things out.”

“OK. Yeah. That ... that sounds good.”

“She worries about you. Alone up there. It will put her mind at ease, I think.’

“Yeah. You’re good for me, Lise. She’s always understood that better than me. I hope ... you can be patient with an old dog like me.”

He heard her smile. “You’re worth it. You’re so important to me. I’m afraid ... of losing that, our friendship."

"Me too." And after a beat. "We could have lost everything, Lise. Out there in the woods. I don't want to ... not try."

"You could stay. Here. You know, after dinner."

"Yeah?" He said, hopeful. "I don't want to ... assume. Or impose. I wanted to ... give you time to settle in, think things through."

"John, there's nothing I need to think through. I'm sure."

"Okay then. Should I bring a toothbrush?" She laughed. And he loved the sound of that. He loved making her laugh.

"I have a spare. So you don't have to take it back home." It was his turn to laugh. Kelly was right. She was good for him.


	5. Toronto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have dinner in Toronto... followed by some light adult entertainment.

Autopsy had run been running late – and now so was he. He was supposed to meet them at 6 at the Italian place and coming out of the Medical Examiner’s well past that, he wished he’d have had time for a shower. By the time he made it to the restaurant, he was definitely very late. He looked around searching for his two women – and was momentarily put off by the thought until he spotted them at the back. They had not seemed to miss him and were talking over what looked to be Gin & Tonic’s and Kelly said something that had made Lise laugh out loud. He wondered if he should feel weird about how well they got along – they had, after all, made plans without him. They would have met up here for dinner and would have been talking, like this here now and he almost felt like an intruder.

“Dad!” Kelly exclaimed, when she finally spotted him and waved him over to their table. She got up to hug him. 

“Sorry, took longer than I expected.”

“Yeah, Lise figured as much.” Again, he felt taken aback by the familiarity they shared. They both knew him too well and between the two of them, they could probably read his mind. 

“Hey.” Lise said, with an unreadable smile. 

He had hoped to get there early and have a few moments with her alone before Kelly showed up. That had been the plan, but the day’s schedule had made that impossible and now he wasn’t entirely sure how to get past the awkwardness of greeting Lise in front of Kelly. But Lise just got up, gave him a peck on the left, then the right cheek and lingered just half a breath too long and her right hand casually resting on his lower back and drawing him into a warm half hug before taking her seat again. And just like that, she’d made him feel at ease and took his breath away at the same time. Kelly had watched the exchange and gave them both a look as he slipped into the seat next to Lise. 

“So, what have you Ladies been talking about?”

And now he did feel like an intruder, with an awkward smile from Kelly and a shrug from Lise. “Oh you know, girl stuff.”

He didn’t pry and browsed the menu just as a waiter came to take his order for drinks. They had been dipping into the G&Ts and he ordered a beer. Dinner passed quickly and easily. He felt Lise’s warmth next to him, felt her smile and talk and she’d occasionally brush against him and he relaxed into her, enjoying seeing and hearing her talk about her new job, the new sergeant and the disaster her apartment was. Kelly talked about school and her upcoming exams and Cardinal got a sense they’d been talking about him earlier. When Lise excused herself to the Ladies’, he expected Kelly to grill him with questions, but if she’d noticed something, she didn’t say anything. Before long, they paid up and said goodbye to Kelly with promises to catch up soon. Kelly hugged her father and whispered “I’m happy for you” into his ear, more carefree than he could remember her being for a long time. 

As they started walking, his hand found hers and they held hands and he would glance at her from time to time and she would glance at him as they walked back to her apartment in comfortable silence. They were both lost in thought and somehow, it was easier to talk on the phone. He loved watching her, watching a smile or a wrinkle cross her features, loved watching her think, figure out a case or a motive. The elevator ride up was as silent as had most of their walk been, but tension or rather anticipation started filling the space between them.

She opened the door, relinquishing the hold on his hand and walked in ahead of him, flicking on a dim and warm lamp by the side of her sofa. She hadn’t been kidding – boxes were stacked everywhere and she hadn’t had a chance to clean up. He’d closed the door behind them, but had stayed behind, watching her take off her coat and the full effect of what he’d seen bits and piece off all night hit him with a surge of desire. She stood there, with a serene smile on her face as his eyes traveled from the hint of red in her hair, falling in waves on her shoulders, over her slender curves framed by a simple and modest black dress ending just above her knees, a hint of tights under a pair of sleek, tall boots that made her legs look endless and somehow matched her hair, the color of Cognac with a hint of red and he felt the heat rise from inside. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t tried to look ... nice tonight, but the way he stared at her made her blush and part her lips as her tongue flicked across them. “God, do you have any idea what you do to me?” He asked, breathless.

“How about you show me?” He walked over, not needing to be told twice. Standing close behind her, bringing her flush to him, pressing himself against her from behind, whispering a breathless “Fuck, Delorme, you’re killing me.” into her hair, kissing and nipping lightly at her neck, his warm breath making her shiver. His hands grabbed her by her hip bones and she pressed back into him as his hands roamed up her belly, squeezing her breasts, before traveling down again. His body bending over her as his hand slipped lower than her dress, moving her hemline up her thighs, only for his fingers to dip between her legs. And he found that there was one thing he liked even better than making her laugh. He was straining against his pants and groaned when she wiggled and ground against him. “You’d better stop that if you don’t want me to come in my pants” he growled and turning around in his arms, she just gave him a saucy smile and said “Better get those off of you then.” starting to pull on his belt while he was trying to lift her dress over her head. 

He chuckled, but turned serious quickly. “God, you’re beautiful.” He said, moving a stray strand of hair behind her ear. And kissed her reverently until he felt her lips tug into smile under his kiss. "What?" 

"Take me to bed already, John." She replied, pulling him in the direction of her bedroom. "You got an early flight tomorrow, we gotta make the most of tonight."


	6. An awkward phone call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I only have one thing for you: idiots in love. They're detectives. They'll figure it out. Eventually.

Cardinal is rustling in the dark, trying to be quiet as he’s gathering his things.

“John?” She asks groggily, her accent heavy with sleep. 

The bed dips as he sits down. “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.”

She mumbles a reply that sounds a lot like it’s in French. 

“Dyson is going to kill me if I don’t make my flight” He whispers, but settles in next to her anyway, wrapping her up in his embrace as she burrows her head into his chest. 

“I was thinking, maybe you’d like to come up. Soon? For a weekend maybe?”

More mumbling, that sounds vaguely like agreement and he presses a soft kiss to her temple. 

“There’s something I wanted to show you.”

“Mmmok” Definitely with a French accent.

“Go back to sleep, love. I’ll call you tonight.” He replies, breathing in the scent of her hair and the faded smell of her perfume and their arousal. 

“Ch’t’aime” and he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. 

He was lost in thought as the plane took off and the feeling of warmth and peace that had engulfed him lingered and made his full heart ache. 

* * * * *

John was distracted as he was following up the case. Something just didn’t make sense. The time of death. The man had died of a fractured skull and a broken neck, histology had shown indicators of the body having been frozen and freezer burns had been evident. Something was nagging at his subconscious and he picked up his phone and dialed out of habit. She didn’t pick up. 

She called him back an two hours later.

“Sorry, I was in a meeting.”

“Hey” He smiled into the phone. 

“Hey.” He could hear her apologetic tone. 

“Sorry, I didn’t really think. Just wanted to get your thoughts on something and just kinda dialed out of habit. I … it wasn’t …”

“Oh. OK.”

“Is this an OK time? I didn’t think … I just … I was going to call, later, after work.”

“It’s fine, John.”

“Sorry. I didn’t … want to leave like that.”

She remained silent. It sound like she was shuffling or walking. Her silence was making him nervous. “I wish I’d had more time. I don’t want you to feel like …”

“John … it’s … it’s OK. Sorry. Had to get out of the office.”

“Oh. Right.”

“It was good to see you. I… it was good.” He could hear her smiling again. She’d paused. “I … was thinking about what you said.”

“Which part?” 

“The weekend?”

“Yeah?” He said hopeful. 

“Yeah… I’d like that. I was just thinking … I still have so much stuff to unpack … “

He interrupted, nervously. “Oh, you don’t have to … right away.”

“No, I meant … maybe I’ll try and catch a flight up Saturday, so I have some time Friday to get settled?”

“Oh.” He said relieved. “Yes. I, uhm, let me know what time you get in and I’ll come pick you up?”

“Yeah. That sounds great.” 

They fell silent again. 

“This is really weird.” She suddenly laughed. And he joined in, relieved. “We’re terrible at this.” 

“Really terrible”. And after a brief pause. “At least we’re good at the sex part.”

He nearly snorted with laughter. “Definitely.” He turned serious “Lise … I don’t want you to think that’s all this is to me.”

“I know. Me too. Let’s … talk when I’m there?”

“Yeah. Let’s do that.”

They fell silent again. “See you soon?” He smiled into the phone.

“Yeah.” She smiled back. 

After a long pause, they both hung up. And Cardinal felt that familiar warmth engulf him, once again. And cursed the omission in her goodbye. And in his.


	7. Toothbrushes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‚So. we‘re ... doing toothbrushes?‘ She said after a while, quietly.

Cardinal was early. He had been waiting a good while and had watched her plane come in and touch down. He‘d tried waiting inside, but started pacing and ended up back outside, the crisp air and the midday bright sun making him feel calmer.

She spotted him the second she left the building - hard to miss the tall, lanky frame. She had her backpack slung across her back. When she‘d last packed it, she hadn‘t thought she‘d find herself here so quickly again. It had barely been a week. She bit her lip, and a crooked smile spread across her face.

He hesitated briefly, but instead of pulling her into a hug, he traced her smile with his thumb and bent down and brushed his lips to hers. He shouldn‘t have been surprised to have her respond eagerly, drawing him closer, pushing herself against him and kissing him properly and leaving them breathless.

‚Should we ...?‘

She nodded and smiled, letting go of his hand to swing around to the passenger side.

‚Are you hungry?‘

‚Not really. Had a bagel earlier. Should we stop for groceries on the way?‘

‚Thought maybe you‘d ... want to go out? Tonight? Somewhere nice?‘

‚What, like a date?‘ She chuckled with a raised eyebrow.

He shrugged. She placed her hand on his, lacing her fingers with his. ‚That‘s nice. But I think ... I‘d rather stay in. Will be Sunday night before we know it.‘

‚What time‘s your flight?‘

‚8?‘ She answered doubtfully. ‚I could make Chili. You know, French ...‘

‚... French Canadians make the best Chili. Well, let‘s see about that.‘ he said laughing. 

And he felt that warmth fill him, once again, as she smiled brightly back at him.

*****

They‘d stopped for food and Lise dropped her backpack inside and went to freshen up. She came out of the bathroom laughing, holding a toothbrush.

‚This for me?‘

‚Seemed only fair.‘

And she laughed even harder, joining him in the kitchen and circling her arms around his waist. ‚Thank you.‘ She took a deep breath and rested against him.

‚So. we‘re ... doing toothbrushes?‘ She said after a while, quietly.

He inhaled and held his breath for a moment. ‚There‘s something I wanted to show you.‘ He finally replied, cupping her face tenderly.

She searched his eyes, but couldn‘t quite read him, face soft and ... sad. ‚Take a walk with me?‘

‚Okay.‘ He felt her deflate with disappointment and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and bent down to kiss her, slowly, gently and softly. She didn‘t respond with her earlier passion and it pained him to know he‘d been the cause of it.

‚Come. It‘s a short drive. You have a good pair of shoes?‘ 

*****

He parked the car near the turnoff where a narrower road diverged from the main road.

‚You okay with a walk?‘

‚Yeah.‘

He got out of the car, grabbing a hold of her hand as soon as he could. They walked for a few moments in silence, down the old forest road.

‚Lise... I don‘t want you to think I‘m not trying.‘ He said after a while, squeezing her hand gently.

‚What are you saying?‘

‚It‘s been a rough couple of years.‘

‚Yeah.‘

‚Catherine, before she died ... when we closed that case... I said I‘d retire when my 30 years came up.‘

‚Okay?‘

‚And I didn‘t. And Kelly ... she‘s worried about me and she‘s been saying the same And you know she‘s right, you know how I get.‘

‚I do. But is that really what you want?‘

‚Toronto, it was brutal, the toll it took on me. The crime - it‘s different down there. We get some crazy cases up here, but they‘re rare... it‘s been good for me too, this pace. Not just for Catherine.‘

‚What are you saying John?‘

‚I need you to understand how hard this is for me. I don‘t want to stand in your way, Lise. I don‘t want to hold you back. You‘ll make Sergeant before long, you have a brilliant career ahead of you... I can‘t ask you to stay. But I think I have to do this.‘

‚Do what, John?‘

‚This.‘ They had reached a clearing, with a view of the lake, a tree facing them. And he dug around in his pockets and finally produced the piece of paper, with his black ink sketch. ‚This, Lise. I want this. And I want to share this with you. But I would never ask you to stay. So if all it takes is a couple of toothbrushes, then ...‘

She tugged on him, getting him to bend down, and kissed him, ardently. ‚So... we‘re doing toothbrushes?‘

‚If you‘re willing. I mean, I can come down a lot - I‘ll retire and I can see Kelly more. And you come up when you have time, weekends and holidays. Help build it.‘

‚We‘re building a cabin?‘

‚Yeah. We are building a cabin. And maybe in a few years, you can transfer back up and it could be our home.‘

They stood quietly, holding onto each other, watching the sun glisten in the water. Standing where their kitchen would be, overlooking the water.


	8. „I am now“

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is kind of a disaster.
> 
> Not really sure if there‘s another chapter after this or not, haven‘t really mapped out anything. May start something else instead.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!

They’d enjoyed the afternoon by the lake enjoying the warmth and the sun and each other. Delorme had told him about her first week in Toronto, the office politics – she was settling in, but had yet really sink her teeth into a case which had made her feel restless, being stuck in her office. When he’d started talking about his case, the oddities that had had surrounded the seemingly straightforward injuries , he was amused by how quickly she’d turned into a bloodhound who’d picked up a scent. “I love it when you get like this.” He’d said.

So he told her – and realized he’d missed talking to her, had missed her mind, in just a week. Victim had been beaten to a bloody pulp, broken neck, fractured skull, knuckles bruised and broken and the extended autopsy in Toronto had revealed a number of older injuries, healed broken bones and head trauma that had been present long before the blows that fractured his skull. Her mind had started going a mile a minute, asking him for more details, whether they had been able to ID him which had been difficult given the extent of his facial injuries. He’d smiled as she was talking and thinking. “You know, when I retire, I should write a crime series about this young, hot French Canadian detective in Toronto… and then you know, sell the TV rights.” He said laughing as she slapped him gently and bumped against him. “Hot, huh?” And he shrugged innocently. “Smart women are sexy, you know.” Kissing her as she rolled her eyes. He loved making her laugh and realized how long it had been since he’d felt this carefree. She really was good for him … and she was better at keeping a distance from the emotional side of the cases. He wondered sometimes if Catherine’s illness had made him hyperaware, hypersensitive to all the underlying currents of human emotion in his cases, had made it hard for him to compartmentalize.

She’d sensed his change in mood, the wistfulness that came over him. “You okay?” She asked gently, reaching for him, touching him and bringing him back to them. “Yeah.” And more convincingly, he added. “I am now.” The sat silently side by side on the tree trunk, Cardinal leaning into her, taking in her warmth until she started to shiver as the sun was starting get low.

*****  
Cardinal offered her the shower when they came back, but she figured she’d take one in the morning. He felt grubby and needed one. Calmer, now that she was here, now he’d been able to explain, to show her. He stood in front of the mirror for a long time, staring at his reflection. Feeling the familiar weight of the ring on his right hand. He tried getting it off, but it wouldn‘t budge. He added soap and was trying work it off. It took him a while. He toyed with it for a moment, wistful and wondering what to do with it. Putting it in the cabinet for the time being. He stood under the warm spray far longer than necessary

By the time he made it out of the shower and changed into something comfortable, he found her in the kitchen and he couldn’t help but watch her for a moment. She’d put on something comfortable too – but looked stunning in the black leggings and the simple burgundy dress that was barely more than a long shirt. She’d put on some music from her phone, a woman’s voice and something jazzy, but modern and she was singing and humming along quietly. She had a beautiful voice. She’d poured herself a glass of red wine from the bottle they’d picked up and was busy chopping and something was already simmering on the stove.

He finally walked up behind her, inspecting the pot over her shoulder and embracing her in the process. “You got started without me? Didn’t want me to know the secret of French Canadian Chili?”

“Oh, you know how it is. Gotta keep a few secrets.”

He was about to reply, hoping to distract her from the cooking for a kiss … or two … when his laptop made the familiar skype noise. He looked at her. “Probably Kelly …”

“This will take another little while.”

He settled at the kitchen table and opened the app on his computer.

“Kelly, hi!”

“Dad. Wasn’t sure I’d catch you! How are you?”

“I’m good Kells” His tone – relaxed, peaceful - made her do a double take.

“You sound good! Hey, it was nice to see you this week. I was thinking when a good time would be to come up and see you.”

“Uh, I don’t know, Kells. Don’t you have classes?”

“Yeah, but I can probably get off early and come up for a weekend.” She’d only just realized something odd. “What are you listening to Dad?”

“Uh, I don’t know …”

“Dad, do you have company?”

“Uh, yeah … actually.”

“Ah. So I guess you’ll be down sooner rather than later.”

“We haven’t …”

“Hey Dad, you know I think I’ll just … uhm … leave you to …” she trailed off.

“How about I call you tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, great. Bye dad!”

“How is she” Lise asked from the kitchen.

“I, uh… she’s … not stupid.” And Lise chuckled as he rejoined her in the kitchen. “Where were we?”

“I think you were going to sneak a taste. Here …” She offered him a spoonful.

“Oh. Wow. Uhm, I think you might be right, this is really good.”

She gave him a satisfied smirk. Which he felt compelled to kiss off her mouth. “You put wine in it.”

She shrugged. “You gonna let me have some of that?” He asked.

“It’s your kitchen John. Here.” She said, handing him the wine bottle and he poured himself a glass.

“This has to cook for a while.” She said, pulling him by the hand towards the couch, sitting down and pulling him down next to her, but he soon made himself comfortable with his head in her lap, limbs and feet dangling off the far end. She was running her fingers through his hair, tracing his hairline gently and the outline of his face until her hand came to rest on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. He brought his hand up to rest over hers. Her brow creased when she‘d noticed the empty space on his ring finger.

„It was time.“ Sensing her question.

„You didn‘t need to. She‘s a part of you, your life.“

„I wanted to. It‘s in the past.“ He was silent for a long time, content to just be. „You‘re good for me, Lise. I thought I would have to choose - between here and you. Are you sure you‘re OK with this? Me, up here?“

„I want you to be happy. If that makes you happy, we‘ll make it work.“

„You make me happy.“ and after a brief pause „I love you, Lise. I hope you know that.“

„It‘s nice to hear you say it.“ Neither said anything, comfortable in their silence.

„For the record? I love you too.“


	9. Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, somehow I woke up in the middle of the night last night with part of this dialogue. And this story is rated Mature and I felt it hadn't really lived up to that so far. So here: the ... uhm ... climax. This is emotional support smut. That's a thing. Like, you need emotional support smut because it's Monday tomorrow. Or just because you watched two seasons of unresolved sexual tension. Or because you were napping in the afternoon and when you were getting ready to go to bed, your brain apparently decided that "Nhuu! Not happening! SMUT TO WRITE!"

After a while, Lise had decided the Chili had cooked enough. Cardinal suspected it was because she got hungry. They grabbed their bowls and decided to eat on the couch. You weren‘t supposed to eat Chili sitting down at a table. He had to admit- the flavors were exquisite. She‘d just given him one of her signature smiles without saying a word. A while after they‘ finished, he got up to clear the dishes and she‘d followed him after a while. She‘d hugged him from behind as he was rinsing them in the sink. Swaying against him gently and resting her head on his back.

„I can‘t believe we‘re here, like this.“

„I‘m not complaining.“

„That I can just... touch you.“

„Like this, you mean?“ he said, pulling her into his arms, enveloping her in a tight embrace, kissing the top of her head.

„Yeah.“ She smiled and he kissed the smile off her lips.

And she kissed him back, hungrily, groping him, hands everywhere, trying to get him closer. She had to stand on her tiptoes to run her hands through his hair, still wet from the shower. Running her hands over his beard, cupping his cheeks, nipping lightly at his earlobe as she moaned a barely intelligible, drawn out " _Jooohhn_ " into his ear. They were necking like teenagers in the kitchen and she was sure he would sport a hickey on the pulse point above his collarbone.

Meanwhile, John was rock hard within minutes from the way she was arching into him. And _fucking_ God, he was trying to _last_. He was trying to concentrate on kissing her, fully, while she was impatiently panting into his mouth. He was trying to let his hands roam gently, framing her face, exploring her hair, as he ran her hands through it and under and around her bun and the light touch at the back of her neck sent her pressing her breasts into his broad chest, threading her hands through his and touching them against her breasts and _fuck_ , he was ready to explode. He tried to concentrate on the band that held her hair together and when she realized what he was trying to do, she pulled it out, quickly, her waves falling over her shoulders with a nervous, breathless shake of her head.

He was breathing heavily, trying to calm himself and let his hands fall down, over her flanks, over her hips, hands resting, splayed over her buttocks, trying to steady the hips rocking into his painfully strained erection, but she was so freaking _eager_ , she was going to make him come far, far too soon. “Lise.” He breathed, trying to get her attention. “Liiise. Can you … slow down.” And she moved, mere inches from his body, looking up into his eyes and she was prepared for some sort of rejection, but not for the tenderness and adoration she found in his eyes. And he reached up with his right hand, brushing the sweaty waves behind her ear, his rough thumb grazing her temple.

“Let me do this right, baby.” And he kissed her, again and she sighed into him, eyes moist, and calmed despite her frantically beating heart. His hands hand fallen down again, resting splayed over her rear, but came up quickly to guide her errant, groping hand around his neck and she finally caught his drift. And in a macho demonstration of manly strength, he picked her up and she wrapped her legs willingly around his hips, so he could carry her, holding her thighs tightly to his side and the exertion at least distracted him from the one way blood flow to his groin.

He set her down gently in the bedroom, on the edge of his bed. Lifting her dress over her head, marveling at the milky white skin and her large, pink nipples. Her hands reached automatically for the button of his casual slacks (he had not gone quite sweatpants on her … yet). But he caught her hands with his, running another tender hand over her cheek, imploring her “Let me. _Please_.”

Their first time, in the hotel room, had been desperate and awkward and filled with wonder and had felt almost unreal. Their second time, at her place, after dinner with Kelly, was intensely _sexual_ and almost frantic, the way it had started out tonight as well. But John was determined _to make love to her_ tonight, to show her how much she meant to him, even if he was still struggling to find the words to tell her. He pulled his shirt over his head, feeling momentarily exposed, but she was looking at him, silently, with adoration, fingers now languorously, reverently touching the scar on his stomach. And he understood, just as silently, bringing her hand up to his mouth, kissing them. “You saved me, Lise.” And she leaned forward, resting her head against the warm skin of his stomach, pressing a kiss to his scar. And they rested liked that, for a moment until their hearts and breaths calmed, beating and inhaling together. So many times they could have lost each other, but _they made it here_ , to this moment, together.

“ _Please_ , John. _Make love to me_.” She whispered against his stomach. And her words and her soft breath against the sensitive skin of his belly, made his cock twitch.

“Lie back.” He said, gruffly, pulling his pants off as she did and her hair fell around her, orange against the white sheets, her legs hanging off the side of the bed. And his hands dipped into the waistband of her leggings, pulling them down and she didn’t need further prompting and scooted back on the bed. And he removed his boxers and followed her, covering half of her with his body, letting his weight rest on his side. And he found her face again, kissed her, slowly, gently, deeply, seeking her eyes in between, his erection resting heavily against her leg and he was careful not rub against her.

Instead, he started peppering kissed along her neck and collarbone, his hand softly cupping her breast and she was aching for him when he started running the rough skin of his thumb over her nipple and her muscles tightened in sheer agony when he kissed his way down to her breast and sucked her nipple between his lips. “You’re so beautiful, baby.” He breathed against her chest, resting his head for a moment below her sternum, grazing the soft white skin of her belly with his stubble, pressing wet and scratchy kissed against it and she ran her hands through the messy mop of his hair.

He had to move, gently opening her legs as he buried his head in her equally orange pubic hair, lying down between them. He looked up at her and found her eyes boring into him as he kissed her mound. When she closed her eyes, moaning into him, he slid his tongue along her folds, lapping at her sensitive clit. She was arching into him, again, and he had to press his hard length against the mattress beneath him. He slicked his fingers and alternated sucking and thumbing her clit until she writhed against him and he made her come, slipping first one, then two fingers inside of her and curling them into her.

And as she came down, he travelled back up, peppering soft kissed against the raw, sensitive flesh of her thighs, her abdomen, her breast until he could hold her, and she melted into him, her breath still labored from her orgasm as she molded her body to his. She held him, tight, reveling in the closeness and intimacy of feeling him like this, so close, and vulnerable as his eyes and body were so _tender_ with her, expressing everything he may have had difficulty saying.

She started rocking her hips against him, gently, so his cock was rubbing against her and she pulled him on top of her, pawing at his buttocks. “Please, _John_.” And he didn’t make her beg, slipping a hand between them, rubbing at her clit, before parting her folds, slickening her opening with his fingers before pressing his length inside of her and kissing her. He rocked into her, not wanting to leave her body, wanting to stay connected from head to toe as he _made love to her,_ whispering how beautiful was she was and much he loved in her ear. She didn’t last long as John was still expertly flicking his fingers over her sensitive bud and he felt her tighten around him as she softly murmured a string of French words into his ear and he understood _everything_ she was and wasn’t saying. It wasn’t like they had ever needed words, but there was an emotional release to saying them, like this, and meaning everything and so much more.

He stayed inside of her, for as long as he possibly could without crushing her, but tried to shift his weight, taking her with him and gathering her against him, in his arms. And she understood, without words, that he was never letting her go, as he stared into her eyes in wonder and amazement. “I love you, Lise.”

“Took you long enough.” She smirked. “You’re stuck with me now, cause I love you too.”

And he smiled, relieved and kept her close as he fell asleep and she soon followed.

The first time she woke, sleeping only lightly, it was because of his warm, solid body against her. He’d shifted, lightly and she had woken up from her superficial sleep. “You OK?” He mumbled, half asleep. “I’m good, John. Just hot.” And he went back to sleep and she’d thrown the blanket off.

The second time she woke, she woke with a start. She’d dreamt that she was alone, out in the great white winter and she was alone. “You good?” John asked, slipping back beside her after having gotten up to relieve himself. “I am now. Go to sleep.” She replied

The third time, she woke up with a sense of restlessness. The emotional. Breakthroughs of the last hours had started slipping into her unconscious state and she stared at him in the dark when she woke up. And as if John could sense it, he woke from the light sleep and murmured “You good?” against her temple.

“Yeah.” She replied, but sensing her residual restlessness, he tightened his embrace around her drawing her back into him. “Why do you keep asking that?” She said, after a pause. “If I’m… good?”

“I just want you to be comfortable when you’re with me. I want you … to be happy. With me.” He rasped, almost sheepishly. “I … don’t want you to leave.”

It made her smile and turn around in his embrace, threading her legs through his, resting her head against his broad chest. “Do you still not get it?” She whispered into his naked chest.

“What?”

“It’s all I ever needed. You. I could never leave _you_.”

“So…. you good?”

“Yeah. _We’re_ good.”


End file.
